My previous post summed up the last year (actually, longer than that). My heart has been broken, and although it will never mend, I'm learning to deal with the loss of my father. I've been stuck in a hazy cloud that makes each day difficult. I find things I once enjoyed no longer excite me. Food has lost flavor, the sky has lost color, and I struggle to find meaning to mundane things that don't matter. I've even had to force myself to climb out of bed to spend time with my beloved Daisy Mae.
However, I have been in therapy. Talk about a miracle. I'm learning things don't have to be shiny or bright, so long as life is good, my children are healthy and well, and I am lucky to have a husband and family who love me. When I'm in a bad place, I repeat this mantra:
This means I'm writing again. Not a little, but a lot.
I was almost finished with Make Me Surrender prior to lack of payment from EC. I'd also written the first portion of Sought and Twisted In Knots. So I've pulled those up and have been working on them. I also resumed work on Crimson Sunrise and Crimson Sunset. I do write Rhiannon but given current circumstances, I have to pull away when emotions run high. I love the series (and the character) yet venturing to sad/angry/dark places isn't easy.
I'm working on my website (I know it's dated and awful -- I apologize). I'm also trying to work out a schedule for future releases, cover art, etc. I'd like to thank those of you who have kept in touch. I'd also like to say I appreciate the words of encouragement, support, and understanding these past two years.
As Daddy used to say: "Shit fire and save matches. I'm busy as a one armed paper hanger, and as aggravated as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."
That's it in a nutshell.
I miss him. I really, really miss him.